Who's Your Guru's Guru?

No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.

-- Conrado I. Generoso

Mentoring is one of my favorite activities. I have five people I’m actively mentoring at work right now, which is particularly rewarding especially as I no longer have a team of my own to coach and guide as part of my normal day job. Sravanthi and I went to lunch this week, and it was terrific having her walk me through a presentation she was particularly proud of creating. It was the output of the kind of project that she’s been anxious to do more of, and this was her first major opportunity to fly solo while her manager was on vacation. She did an excellent job and was on cloud nine! It was great - while I carefully listened to her updates of all the exciting things going on in her professional life, I also observed her a little bit from afar at the same time. Her eyes were *sparkling*, and her grin went from ear to ear. She’s buried in work right now and the company is navigating through choppy waters (as usual), but as a general observation, she’s so happy! For me, seeing someone succeed, particularly when I had even a teeny tiny part of it, is extremely gratifying. She and I have had many conversations over the years, with healthy doses of feedback, encouragement, tough-love, honesty, and laughter. It’s my way of paying others back, by paying it forward.

Last week, I took a risk and reached out to one of my company’s most senior executives (yikes!) to ask him if he’d take ME under his wing. I carefully selected someone that I respect tremendously, not just for his intelligence and leadership, but also for his energy, passion, and charisma. On top of that, he leads the organization that I hope to join in a year or so, as I progress from this assignment onto the next stepping stone of my chosen career path. I believe he can help me grow and succeed in my current role, while also guiding me toward setting myself up for the next one. I took a chance, laid out all of this in an email, took a deep breath, and sent it into the ether.

It took me a long time to write that email, not because I had any uncertainty regarding my request, but because I tried hard to articulate the win-win situation. I know without a doubt what’s in it for me, but how does one articulate to a senior leader what’s in it for him to spend his time mentoring someone several links down the food chain? On a grand scheme, all well run organizations expect their leaders at each level to grow and develop the staff junior to them. However, I felt awkward making the case that he should help me out because it was good for the company. He already knows that, and pragmatically, I don’t report into his organization. I felt self-conscious no matter what I wrote about why he might want to help me because either it sounded arrogant or pretentious or heaven knows what. Mentoring others motivates me, but you can’t automatically assume it does that for everyone. Finally in exchange for his mentoring I simply offered my candor on whatever topics he is interested in, commitment to work on developing that which we’ll discuss, and anything else I can do to be of assistance to him in the future. I’m hoping that part of that will be in a future role working for him, where I can kick some butt and be an asset to him and his team!

He wrote back less than an hour later, simply: “Love to! [His assistant] will set up!” I was OVERJOYED and I had a smile on my face all weekend. We’re getting together for lunch on Monday, and I can’t wait! It was worth taking the chance to ask.

Action Challenges:

Find a Mentor: Identify someone who’s doing that which you want to do. Approach them, and ask if they’re willing to take you on as a mentor. Be sure to carry your end of the burden – the mentee usually gets the better end of the deal – be prepared with an agenda for what you want to get out of your mentoring relationship. Bring questions you need help answering, and be honest in assessing where you currently stand. At the same time, when your mentor gives you advice, be sure to follow-through on his or her recommendations, and keep them informed as to how well it’s working! As a mentor, it’s extremely rewarding to know you’re making a difference!

Be a Mentor: If you see someone struggling to take the path you’re already well on your way down, reach back and lend them a helping hand. Ask them if they’d like some mentoring along they way (some folks are too shy to ask!), being careful not to assume it’s automatically welcome! Nobody likes an unsolicited know-it-all, and unsolicited feedback’s always dangerous. If someone screws up their courage enough to approach YOU and ask you to mentor them – give it a shot. If you find you aren’t enjoying it or don’t have the time, you can always help them find someone else more appropriate, but at least reward their courage with a session or two. It will make you both feel good!

Cheers and all my best to you!
~Brooxi

"Always be eager to learn, no matter how successful you might already be. In the Millionaires’ Club, we sometimes invite a billionaire to come talk to us. He says, ‘You’re doing okay, but come on. How about if you really poured it on!’"

- Jim Rohn

© Stephanie Brooks 2008