Don't Be THAT Girl

"I failed my driver's permit by one question, but I cried my way out of it!"

Sitting in the airport this morning, I had an opportunity to enjoy the conversations of a group of Marin County high schoolers en route from San Francisco to Iceland, by way of Dulles and Kennedy airports. Amongst other things, the topic of driving came up, and one girl laughed as she announced, "I failed my driver's permit by one question, but I cried my way out of it!"

She received a combination of atta girls and ridicule from her peers, who gave her a hard time for not knowing what a red light vs. a green light meant, or the difference between the gas and the brake pedals! Apparently, the offending question was regarding the clearance to give an ambulance, and the kids made a point of hoping aloud they weren't in that ambulance if she was on the road. All of this teasing heartened me, because in their way, they were saying, "Girlfriend, NOT COOL!"

The fact that she failed her California driving test didn't bother me; I myself failed one of those, embarrassingly enough at the age of 23, after having driven for 7 years!!! The problem is that rather than brush up on the rules of the road, she used tears to get a pass and skate by.

This is such a *weak* approach. While solving her immediate issue of getting a passing mark, it didn't actually address the knowledge issue, AND it reinforced to her that crying will let her fake her way through life. Reality is that yes, sometimes tears and other shummina shummina will get you by in this world. It's not reliable though, and if the tears (or whining, or cajoling, or sweet talking) fail, you're left without any ammo and no plan B. Better to be prepared, know your stuff, work within the guidelines (this isn't to say don't break *any* rules!), and don't rely on ploys to get you through. At some point, someone's going to see through you, and your reputation and credibility will be at risk. Worse yet, you may put yourself or someone else in physical harm's way if you don't actually know the rules of the road or whatever else it is that you are faking.

Action Challenge: When you find yourself in a difficult situation and/or on the spot, notice how quickly your mind starts making excuses or looking for the easiest way out. Once you've identified the easiest way out (it is hard to stop your mind from going down that path, so go ahead and let it go), *before* acting on it, stop and assess what is the RIGHT way to rectify the situation. Start by accepting and acknowledging responsibility for your actions without excuses, then go down the right path. It may or may not be the shortest, fastest path requiring the least amount of energy, but you'll be better for it, as will those around you who are affected by the situation. Ultimately, you'll find that this is the path of least resistance, as you go Gently Down The Stream.

Don't be THAT girl!!

Cheers and all my best to you!
~Brooxi

"Only you judge yourself on your intentions. Everyone else judges you on your actions."

- Unknown

© Stephanie Brooks 2008