What’s the Worst That Can Happen?

Is it gonna kill you?

In August 2000, I was four months into a new job that I was totally sucking at. It was a rotational position, with four months in each location, and the first one had been a debacle. Most of it was my fault; I went into it thinking I was hot stuff and that I knew everything there was to know. My Senior Manager at the time took it upon himself to straighten me out, and while I never got to the point of liking the guy, I certainly appreciate what he had to deal with [i.e., me!] and what he did in retrospect. As this first assignment wrapped up, I was selected to go to my next team’s location in advance, to make preparations so everyone hit the ground running. Normally this task goes to the superstars, but I think my Senior Manager just wanted to get rid of me!

I flew out to Boulder, CO on a Friday afternoon. We were heading in to audit their financial statements, and this Civil Engineer didn’t know her debits from her credits. My tasks were to: meet the business leaders, set up meetings for the first week the team was on site, arrange office space, find short term furnished apartments, and start collecting the necessary documentation. I was all by myself, trying to act like I knew what I was doing (at this point I realized I really was clueless). My plan was to go apartment hunting over the weekend, then take care of all the stuff in the office Monday through Wednesday.

Despite Boulder’s being one of the best spots on earth, I was MISERABLE. I had a massive headache from the moment I got on the plane, which lasted through the weekend. It was certainly a stress headache, since nothing at all was wrong with me, but I just couldn’t shake this feeling of doom and certain failure. Finally, Sunday as I sat alone at a sports bar waiting for my dinner to arrive, the thought came to me (ok, the voices in my head were talking to me again), “What’s the worst that can happen?”

Being a list-maker, I pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of my purse and started writing. Generally everything was along the lines of x would/wouldn’t happen, then the team or manager or clients would hate/be mad at me, and maybe I would be fired. Often the logic trains ended simply with someone hating me, or me looking dumb. Worst case was never beyond getting fired, and all things considered, it was just a job!! [and one I was busy hating anyway!!] Was getting fired really the worst thing? Well hot diggedy dog, I certainly could live with that! In fact, it might be a good outcome!

As it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to lose life, limb, or liberty, I physically felt the tension leave my shoulders, and my headache dissolved immediately. I walked back to the hotel after dinner, and started noticing what a beautiful town Boulder really is. I kicked myself for letting my unquantified fears ruin a perfectly good weekend in a lovely spot, and set about enjoying the rest of my time. Ever since then, I’ve returned to this question and mantra, as I’ve had to face uncertain times and challenges.

Scroll forward to today. Again, I find myself in a new role (only five weeks into it this time), and while I am a lot more confident in my abilities than I was eight years ago, I’m still going through the stress of learning a new role, a new boss, and a new business. My manager has an audacious challenge for me to achieve, and the only fundamental disagreement we have on the vision is the timeline in which it’s achievable, given the current culture and climate at my company. I was really fretting over this yesterday, and spent some time with my professional coach Connie Meyer talking through different approaches.

Finally as our scheduled hour was coming to a close, she asked me my own magic words, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” We talked through the two extremes, and I realized that either outcome was actually a huge blessing! Either we’d get the full buy-in from the necessary executives that we need to launch this new program immediately (best outcome!)… or they’d all laugh us silly, and my manager would see for himself the cultural challenges I have tried to articulate to him, as a newcomer to the company. With this, we’d be able to revisit the timeline and do this project properly to both of our satisfaction. I realized that the stress I’ve put myself under again, came down to unquantified fears. Once more, I physically felt the tension leave my bones, as I saw my options unfold in front of me… and none of these options entailed any major losses!

Action Challenge: When you find yourself with a stressful, uncertain situation, take a few minutes to worst-case scenario the problem. Are there any outcomes you absolutely cannot live with or recover from? If so, guard against those with all your energy, proportionate to their likelihood to happen. If not, then relax, take several deep breaths, and go along for the ride. Try to influence the situation toward the most favorable outcome, but don’t get too torqued up over the others if you really can live with any of them.

Cheers and all my best to you!
~Brooxi

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

© Stephanie Brooks 2008